The Manuscript of My Life

Because Every Canadian Lives in an Igloo.....And says eh...

{ 08:23, 2009-Apr-6 } { 5 comments } { Link }

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter
Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow(England)A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto -- can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto ,Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax?
( England )
A: What, did your last slave die?
Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary . Come naked.
Q:Which direction is North in Canada? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do .
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night inVancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs .
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? ( USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?(USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

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{ 08:43, 2009-Apr-6 } { Posted by Cam }

hahaha !

Funny stuff...

I loved Vancouver the few times I was there !

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{ 09:18, 2009-Apr-6 } { Posted by LauriesAsylum }
Hehehe, I love the second one!

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{ 07:53, 2009-Apr-7 } { Posted by indigomoonarts }
HAHAHA I didn't see anything about anyone saying eh. eh?
I picked it up from dating a French Canadian years ago and haven't been able to stop using it. However I find that I use it mostly when I write eh?
Weird eh?
<^.^>

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{ 12:51, 2009-Apr-7 } { Posted by kinnigurl }
Western Canadians say "eh" FAR less than Easterners. I have tried to listen to speech patterns here, and I don't notice it that much. East coasters particularly say eh a lot and have a much different way of talking than we do on the west coast. I am looking forward to the Olympics, even though we couldn't afford any tickets, but it will just be fun to wander around town and check out people from all over the world. It will be a good people watching venue to be sure.

I am not sure what is up with the Ducks. I am hoping though that they make the playoffs, and then to the second round so that we can see some games when we are in Duck Country! That's always fun. We are glued to the TV tonight and cheering for our Canucks.They MUST beat those damn Flames!

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{ 11:43, 2009-Apr-8 } { Posted by littleMissConfused }
I loved the first one....sadly the answer sounds a lot like my garden.

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Because Every Canadian Lives in an Igloo.....And says eh...

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